Live, Dream, and Love

“ People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. ”

Teenage Dirtbag

I knew a boy named Thayer Mangeress. I had the good fortune of being close to him.

This movie was absolutely amazing. Beautiful in every way.

In the beginning, she said, "I knew a boy named Thayer Mangeres. I had the misfortune of being close to him... alphabetically."

In the end, she says, "I knew a boy named Thayer Mangeres. I had the good fortune of being close to him... alphabetically."

Which means that she knew him and was close to him with letters because of the notes that they wrote to each other. They never really spoke much. They were both in love with each other, but Amber didn't want to let herself admit it, so she ignored him until he "killed" himself, which is when she figured out that she should have stayed with him. So she names her kid after him because she finally lets herself admit that she loved him when it was too late.

I adored the story. What it says about social status and adolescence, love, and the effects of abuse. How there are no easy fixes for abuse, how it will truly Screw You Up and you can’t necessarily escape it and get what you want before the credits roll. How love isn’t pure, it’s messy and hard and sometimes doesn't or can’t work.

Beauty in the Breaking

There's one thing a quote does that nothing
& no one else can do. it can become a part of you.
you may never meet the person who said it,
but that person is now a companion.
quotes help you get over pain, feel love,
make you smile & laugh,
& help you through those tough days
when you think no one else knows
what you're going through.

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
^Chuck Palahniuk^

naive because i’m younger than you
bitch because i don’t let you push me around
loser because i’m not best friends with you
liar because i will not tell you everything
conceited because i’m proud of who i am
ugly because my face isn’t perfect
unappreciative because i don’t praise you
stupid because sometimes i’m wrong
slut because i have guy friends
annoying because im not chill enough for you.
rude because my manners arent perfect,
dont tell me who i am, i don't live by your standards.

Little girl, don’t be so blue.I know what you’re going through.
Don’t let it beat you up.Hitting walls and getting scars.
Only makes you who are.
No matter how much your heart is aching.
There is beauty in the breaking.

And you get to a point where you stop
feeling sorry for yourself. You realize no one's going to save you, so you have
to save yourself. You turn your life
around, not knowing where you're going,
just knowing that you'll do anything,
ANYTHING to be happy again.

sometimes all you can do is not think. not wonder. not obsess. not imagine.
just breathe. breathe in, breathe out. everything works out in the end, & the more time
you spend worrying about it, the longer it takes for things to end perfectly… just the way they should.

So Fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable.
Go out on a limb or two or twelve, and you will fall and it'll hurt.
But the harder you fall, the farther you will rise.
The louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it.
There are people who spend their whole lives wondering
how they became the people they became, how certain chances pass them by,
why they didn't take the roads less traveled. Those people aren't you.
You have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself,
you might even transform the world.
And it will be electric, and I promise it will be terrifying.
Embrace that; embrace the new person you're becoming.

This is your moment.

I promise you, it is now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now.
Own that; know that deep in your bones.
And go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that.
And then...keep going

The Holiday

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. 

 I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. 

BEST love story in my own opinion since The Notebook. It's perfect

Dreamer, but I'm not the only one..

All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they dream their dreams with open eyes, and make them come true.

Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one.

John Lennon

All you need is love.