The Good Die Young

Jonathan Charles Kraemer

Our dear Jonny decided to take his life yesterday evening and all I can say is I will miss his cute face sooo much. He will forever live in my heart until the day that I die and I also hope to see him again when that time comes. People pass away but they never die in our hearts. All of the great memories we had together are running through my mind as I realize we will never be able to share anymore. My heart goes out to all his family and friends, I hope that they will be okay in time.

"I am the type of person that was meant to care for people, it gives me drive to become so much better than i am. I love helping people with there trials in life, why? Im not completely sure. maybe its cause im not very good at helping myself, maybe its cause im just a passionate person about life, i dont really know.. i just feel that life is too short to care about fancy cars and money. It's not what you do, its how you do it. so i guess to tell you something about me, im a lover, I've lived so many sides of life and i can tell you that i have always been the happiest when i had love for what i was doing." - Jonny Kraemer

Today we are having a candle light vigil at Rohmer Park, and Jonny... I hope you are looking down and realizing how many people love you and are going to miss you so much. Rest in Peace dear Jonny, you are amazing and you are so loved. I miss you already...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxAAspHOfF4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2xE3nr2mAQ

I miss you
Miss you so bad

I don't forget you

Oh it's so sad.

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly.

The day you slipped away.....

Was the day i found it won't be the same

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me

Cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away...

Was the day i found

It, won't be the same

I've had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why.

And I can't take it

It wasn't fake

It happened, you passed by

Now you're gone

Now you're gone

There you go

There you go

Somewhere I can't bring you back

Somewhere you're not coming back

Our Story

Andrews Souza,
One of the few people that means the absolute world to me, and one that I love more than anything in the world. You are leaving me in three days and I honestly don't know how I am going to manage without you. So I have decided to tell our story, the story of how we became such amazing best friends. It is a friendship unlike any other that I will never forget. I remember seeing Andrews for the first time at a show at Boom Va, oh the good ol Boom Va Days. I don't believe that he saw me, but I saw him. We met for the first time one night when I decided to meet up with our mutual friend Connor. They were shooting off fireworks and we ended up getting run down by the cops, it was hilarious. The cops stole all of our fireworks but we managed to hide a couple. We all jumped in my car and as we were driving down the street we lit them out the window and took off before the cop could find us again, what a good night.

After that night, we became friends on Myspace and we talked here and there..always saying we need to hang out but it didn't necessarily happen. We would ALWAYS randomly run into eachother at different places and we would be so excited to see eachother. I moved to California for awhile, and when I came back I went to Denny's with all of our North Ogden Crew. We ran into eachother again finally and we both had the biggest smiles on our faces. We gave eachother a hug and I swear neither of us wanted to let go. That is when our friendship REALLY began. We talked everyday, we hung out so much and would chill and watch really great movies . I'm not quite sure how our friendship set fire, but it did. I'm so happy that it did.

We became so close, we tell eachother mostly every little thing. One of our favorite things to do is go on adventures and explore new things. I remember going up to Oaklawn park countless times, going to the indian schools, the ddo, roaming Brigham City, going up by the North Ogden Divide looking out over the city, etc etc... I wish I could go over every little adventure we have had but we both know that that would take ages. I will never forget any moment we have spent together. We also never really had to even go out to have some fun. We could just sit and talk forever, sit in on a saturday night and just watch a movie.. which would still be the time of our lives. There is one day that I do want to mention, which is probably the best day that I have ever had in my life. It was so perfect.

One day right after work we decide to meet up. We want to go down to the south towne mall all the way in Sandy to do some shopping. Us shopping together, is not good. We knew we had style and we had money, the money does not last long when we go shopping haha. What an amazing shopping experience that was. We then decide we want to go to downtown Salt Lake just to explore the city. Andrews and I were starving and I thought of Noodles & Company. We shared their Wisconsin Mac & Cheese, and it was to die for. We were both in heaven and couldn't believe how perfect everything was. Even the coke was perfect. So we decide to continue our exploring, we walked around the LDS conference center where they have a little waterfall running down the building and it was so refreshing. Then Andrews says, "Lets go to a park, I want to just walk around but I want there to be trees and I want to hear a river runnin in the background, sorta like the waterfall." I thought, I have no idea how i'm going to find a park like that in Salt Lake but we can try. I then remembered there was a park by Capitol Hill, but I couldn't remember what it was like. The park was exactly what we had both wanted it to be, it was absolutely amazing. There were trees, there was a river running, there were unique little monuments, and a path leading up into the woods. We walked around in the park, and walked up the trails.. we sat and talked for hours. We finally got tired and decided to drive home, and we reminisced about how amazing everything had been. My very perfect night, with my very favorite person. I'll never forget it.

I love how comfortable I am with Andrews and how I can completely act myself around him. I'm the biggest nerd. Every single one of our friends, even family members, have thought that there has always been something going on with us or thought there has been at least some history...Nope. It has always been strictly friendship with us. We laugh because people think that a boy and a girl simply can not be just friends, well.. we are living proof. We act as if we could be a couple because we love eachother and care about eachother so much, but we are just so comfortable.. it's never been more. I love when me and him can just cuddle and watch movies, and I absolutely love when we fall asleep. It's comforting. We have a blast at concerts, getting up on stage with The Game TWICE was amazing. We saw T.I. together which was sooo sick. Seeing Big Boi with Andrews last week was another really great moment. Arms around eachother, dancing and singing along to the music. Another thing that I love, we never ever fight. Except that one time.....But I don't even want to remember that moment. Our friendship is stronger because we got through that moment, never again. Best friends until the day we die, cheesy I know...but it's the truth. I'll always love the kid.

He is moving away to St. Louis with his family on Monday because his father has a job out there. I will simply be a mess when he is gone, I will miss him so much. But this is definitely not goodbye, never. I will be visiting frequently. 

So there it is, a small amount about an amazing friendship that has shaped my life so much and brought me so much joy. I just had to tell about my best friend because he is so important to me and he always will be. Nobody can come between us. I love us, and I love our friendship.

Tell Me I Am Worth It.

I'm so sick of never being good enough. They always say, "You can do sooo much better than that." or "He isn't worth your time." Well, maybe you should think that I can't. All I ever wanted was for someone to actually be afraid of losing me, to actually say "I love you", to say I don't know what I would do without you and I will always be there for you...and actually mean it. I am a loyal lover, a loyal friend... yet I keep getting screwed over every which way possible. I don't get it. I just want to feel loved and needed. But is this karma? There has been boys who have liked me and were nice, but I simply wasn't interested. I wanted more than anything to have feelings for them, but I just can't force myself ya know? It simply is not fair. Often, it's the most deserving person who can not help love those who destroy them. One day.....

Keep Gates Closed at All Times..

I believe in amazing love songs, cry at the sappiest ending in films, write about relationships as a creative outlet. These signs point to 'romantic', so why then, do I not let myself believe and fall all the way in? I don't like commitment; I get scared of giving someone parts of me that they could break. I don't like admitting to feelings, even though I have a lot of them. So while I'm smiling at the fact that this could be left open ended, I am telling myself that there's no way we'll maintain this flirtation for long. I am an optimist for life but a terrible cynic for love.

Finally

Finally, I have decided to start my own blog after admiring everyone elses. I wanted something to jot down all of my thoughts, activities, likes, dislikes, etc. etc... I enjoy reading about others lives and hearing their thoughts or ideas.. it makes me feel like we are somehow connected or I better understand them, ya know?  Sometimes it helps me through my own situations and what not. I can't wait..and this is only the beginning.